Some of my story…

Don;t compare my chapter twelve to your chapter one… there’s so much of my story that no one saw on social media so wanted to share a bit fo that with you;;;

Let me start by saying to you that on paper; my CV looked good. Great grades, but I had never really excelled at anything at school academically. The one thing I always wanted to do was become an actress or perform on Broadway.

I was quickly shut down when a) I realized I couldn’t sing and well that and b) everyone told me it wasn’t realistic and hard to make it big and yadda yadda yadda…you know what I am saying. I kept being told I would need a ‘back up’ in case I never made it. What they really meant was: ‘Don’t even think about, you will NEVER make it’  Those were my first experiences of total and utter dream squashing at it’s finest. I had no desire to enter into the corporate rat race even though it seemed that is what all my peers wanted to do. I flirted with the idea of every profession that ‘sounded’ good just so I could say I was a … blah blah blah… just so my parents would be proud of me.

But truly none of it lie me up. I felt frustrated, confused and my life lacked direction!

So what do you do as an early twenty something-year-old who has no bloody clue of what she wants to do…you escape by travelling and becoming a holiday rep so you can forget that the real world exists.

So off I went abroad for 6 amazing and hard years in Greece and Ibiza and relentlessly worked my way to the promotion I had always dreamt off. I managed the largest resort in Ibiza as a Holiday Rep as a resort controller. This is where I met the love of my life and baby daddy: Richard. Then out the blue after being offered another big promotion, I found out I was pregnant! I was over the moon as my BIGGEST dream had always been to be a mum but I was petrified. What job could I do?

The career I had worked so hard for would come to a sudden halt. I was back to square one and this time I had another human to look after and no job.

I got my first job in the UK in years and kept my pregnancy a secret so that they would employ me. The next 8 months that unfolded were horrific. My manager treated me horribly and I’d spend most days in a mix of hormone induced floor of tears. I had been bullied throughout my school years and it was soul-destroying, but to be bullied as a 26-year-old felt somewhat worse.  I had suffered from a long bout of anxiety growing up brought on by the deep-rooted belief that I wasn’t good enough.

I had never quite made the cut for anything. 

Not the sports teams, the main part in the play or even the cool girls group at school. I found it hard to make close friends and always felt this uncomfortable feeling like I never fit in. I was anxious in my relationship  (with my now husband)  and my job was killing me emotionally and mentally, but I couldn’t leave. I needed the money and nobody would take on a pregnant woman!

The dress resulted in me going into about 4 weeks early on September 8th 2012!

I know you have heard it once and you will hear it again but having a baby changed my life. When Layla was born in 2012, I felt, for the first time that I belonged. Like I had a purpose in my life. I had never felt love like this and had the wholehearted urge to be at home with her but I also wanted to be successful.

I had always had an ambitious spark and being a stay at home mum would have never cut it. I wanted BOTH. I tried to start a few businesses during my maternity leave with her and gave up on all of it. I ended having to go back to the job I didn’t like. Why? Because I was good at it and it would pay the bills and I was promised a new manager and she was great. However, each day as I would leave Layla at nursery, I would cry. It was heartbreaking and she hated being away from me and I hated being away from her.

I sat in my car one day and prayed… please help me get out of this. this is not how I wanted my life to be.

I became obsessed with reading books on personal development and making money and by chance, I came across coaching. I remember every hair on my body rising in the excitement that I had found the ‘thing’ that I wanted to do. I found a course and started at university a few months later.

In the meanwhile, I had got pregnant again and the doom of a budgeting maternity leave was over me.

One day an email landed in my inbox that I could not shake off. it talked about how to build an online business from your home. the stories of the money that these people were creating excited me. this is what I had been looking for!!! so at this point, I was working 40 hours a week in a demanding job, looking after a toddler who still did not sleep through the night, studying at university and now trying to learn how to build an online business in the spare hours I had. oh, and I was 7 months pregnant and started to get contractions.

At 31 weeks pregnant, I was rushed to hospital and was being told I was going to into early labour. I was terrified and once again prayed all night. please, baby, stay in.

the doctors said I needed to slow down. this was the reason I needed to quit my job and focus on my business. no plan b. fast forward 1 year, I had created my first six figure amazing business on my maternity leave. I spent my maternity leave in a vastly different position. we traveled the world from end to end and I even bought our own brand new and designed to spec holiday home on the beach front of the red sea riviera so I could have my own place in the sun for the kids in school holidays. I was now also a qualified coach but I had no idea how to make money from being a coach so I kind of let it fall by the wayside. mainly fear was holding me back of not being good enough.

But then this niggle came to me early 2016.

‘Coaching is what you want to do’

I had invested a lot of money in stock and the best mentors and gurus to help me build my current business and here I was looking at all my maxed-out cards wondering why my heart so strongly wanted me to me to join a coaching program to start a totally new business. I know why...

My heart had very different plans and thank God I learned that the #hearthustle is the only hustle I should ever do. aka (following that niggle till it gets you to your dreams!)

And omg my amazon products got feared in gq and tatler and I even got invited to Hollywood to the celebrity gifting suite for the goddamn Oscars!!!!!!!! I have contributed to various print and online magazines, go for meeting at its studios, and even asked to do a tedx talk. you can check it out here.

Most importantly, I have learned to dream big and to go for each one of my dreams. every single one of them.

I look at the girl 6 years ago who had a fire in her belly and a dream in her heart and I am so proud of how I have made it a reality.

Who I look back at how I go there, one thing is for sure. I grew as a person in every aspect and area of my life. oh, and my biggest secret…was making the universe my best friend!